Second Most Beautiful, First in Stubbornness
In the vast paddock of online chess, every donkey has a pecking order, and 2ndmostbeautifuldonkey has made peace with that. The name says second most beautiful, and the Donkey has never once contested the ranking, presumably because the actual most beautiful donkey is out there somewhere and prefers to remain a mystery. What is not a mystery is the chess: more than 21,000 games on record, most of them bullet chess, over 8,500 bullet defeats absorbed along the way without ever once saying die.
From Plow Horse to Bullet Chess Menace
The Donkey logged on in August 2022 rated 1348 at bullet. By the end of that very month the rating had cleared 2200, and the grind never really stopped. Three years of clock-fueled warfare later, the peak stands at 2673 (2025-09-07), which is an outrageous number for an animal that spends most of the game chewing thoughtfully and dropping pieces on purpose.
The Repertoire: 1.d4 Today, 1.d4 Tomorrow, 1.d4 Forever
As White, it is 1.d4. Always 1.d4. In thousands of logged games, 1.e4 has appeared exactly four times, which suggests the Donkey knows something about e4 that the rest of us are not ready to hear. The workhorse is the East Indian Defense move order, played in over 1,100 bullet games with the healthiest win rate in the stable, flanked by the Australian Defense, the Döry Defense, and one entry the data lists as the "London[redacted] Poisoned Pawn Variation." The second word has been classified. The Donkey respects the secrecy, and frankly so should you.
As Black, welcome to Caro-Kann Defense country: 1,840 bullet games and counting, with the Scandinavian Defense covering flank duty in another 1,000. The Caro-Kann has not always been a winning child, but the Donkey keeps feeding it anyway, which is honestly the most donkey thing imaginable.
Style: Grind, Recover, Flag, Repeat
The Donkey does not win pretty. The Donkey wins long. Roughly 82% of games reach an endgame, and the average win takes about 87 moves, which is roughly 85 more than needed and exactly the point. The early resignation rate is a microscopic 1.78%, the comeback rate sits at 86.5%, and when a piece goes missing there is still about a 40% chance it comes back with interest.
And then there is the clock. The record shows 3,788 wins on time against only 1,602 by checkmate, meaning the hourglass out-kicks the hooves by more than two to one. Flagging is not a flaw here. It is a lifestyle.
Rivalries of the Stable
Every donkey has its wolf. The rivalry with Abishrey Shrestha spans 167 games and a bruising 49-97-21 scoreline, a matchup the Donkey keeps returning to with unbroken optimism. fualls2 (78 meetings, 40-35) and WarlordX (48 meetings, 24-20) are the rare opponents who get out-kicked more often than they kick.
Field Notes
- Best hour to play: 6 AM, a healthy 54% win rate. Worst: 4 AM, when even a donkey should be asleep.
- Tilt factor of 13: famously un-tiltable, once answered a 13-game losing streak with a 15-game heater.
- Blitz is the side hustle with peaks above 2600, but bullet is where the heart and the flag live.
- Daily chess career: two games, lifetime, split 1-1. The Donkey would like to move on, and so should everyone else.
- Favorite checking piece: the queen, deployed 17,461 times and counting.