The Panda Behind the Board
David, known online as Patently_Parochial_Panda, is a FIDE Candidate Master with a chess addiction that spans more than a decade. His username suggests a panda with strong opinions about local openings, and his chess board suggests the same thing. He is patient, stubborn, and quietly dangerous.
Although his profile lists Rapid as his preferred time control, his blitz record is the stuff of legend: tens of thousands of games, endless 1.d4, and a slow burn from the low 1300s to the 2500s.
The Long Grind
David started his blitz journey in midsummer 2013 with a rating in the low 1300s. From there he simply refused to stop playing. The chart below tells the story of a decade of steady, unglamorous improvement.
By 2023 he had earned the Candidate Master title, and by 2026 his blitz peak reached 2550 (2026-03-27). Not bad for a player who started as just another panda with a pawn.
Signature Repertoire
As White, David is a devoted 1.d4 player. He has faced the Slav Defense more than 1,100 times in blitz alone, and his win rate there is strong enough to make opponents question their life choices. He is also completely at home against the Nimzo-Indian Defense and happily wades into the complications of the Benko Gambit.
With Black, he tends to steer toward the Italian Game as a Two Knights player, embrace the closed positions of the Ruy Lopez, and fall back on the Caro-Kann Defense when he wants a quiet life. His endgame frequency is around 73%, so when David reaches the final phase, he is exactly where he wants to be.
Rivalries and Streaks
Some rivalries are defined by balance. David's rivalry with george_justin_phipps is defined by math: 43 wins, 2 losses, and 1 draw in 46 meetings. Against etz254 he also holds a clear plus score, winning 21 of 34. Not every matchup is so kind. Stefan Busch has a winning record against him, and Jura Ochkoos has proven a genuine nemesis.
His longest winning streak is 14 games, and his longest losing streak is 13. Both numbers say the same thing: the panda always comes back to the board.
Playing Personality
- His winning games last nearly 79 moves on average. David does not rush.
- His comeback rate is around 85%, so losing a piece is not the end of the story.
- He converts about 64% of games against lower-rated opposition and still wins nearly 30% against higher-rated players.
- His best results come at 18:00, when the panda is awake and ready to grind.
The Verdict
David may never be the loudest name in the room, but he is one of the most persistent. A Candidate Master with a 2550-level blitz peak and more endgames than most players will see in a lifetime, he is proof that patience, volume, and a stubborn love for 1.d4 can take you a very long way.