SeTuttePippe: Blitz First, Bullet Always, Mercy Never
SeTuttePippe is an online chess player whose handle sounds like an Italian song about pipes, cigarettes, or a very specific kind of trouble, and whose chess matches the vibe: loud, relentless, and surprisingly hard to beat. A specialist in blitz with a full-blown bullet habit on the side, SeTuttePippe debuted in July 2016, climbed past 2300 in both speed formats within weeks, then vanished from the grid for a decade. The 2026 comeback was not a return to form. It was a return, and then some.
The Great Hiatus and the 2026 Homecoming
The 2016 audition was impressive: 105 bullet games at a 2142 average and a blitz peak of 2344, followed by complete silence for ten years. Then SeTuttePippe came back and played over 7,000 bullet games in a single campaign, pushing bullet to 2787 (2026-09-28) at the high-water mark, while the blitz rating climbed to a 2600 peak on a tidy 75 wins, 25 losses, and 7 draws. Whatever happened during those ten years, it apparently involved a great deal of premove practice.
An Opening Repertoire That Should Not Work (But Does)
As White, life is simple: 1.e4, please and thank you. Of 3,652 first moves played in 2026, 3,384 were the pawn to e4, feeding opponents into a Scandinavian Defense meat grinder scoring 73% and a Caro-Kann Defense line still returning 66%. The rest is garnish: 244 games of 1.f3, the Barnes Opening, which is either a joke, a dare, or a lifestyle choice, plus 250 games of the Amar Gambit, a tournament-legal way to start with the knight on h3 and still win two-thirds of the time.
The Amar Gambit, for the brave:
As Black, the soundtrack changes. The Pterodactyl Variation of the Modern Defense has been uncorked 347 times for a 70.9% score, the London System gets answered by its Poisoned Pawn Variation across 354 games, and the Accelerated Dragon Exchange Variation is a personal cash register at 75%. Anyone who springs the Blackburne Shilling Gambit discovers the trapdoor opens downward, into their own game: a 64% score in 177 such encounters. The chart below tells the story: eccentric on paper, effective on the board.
Style: Sisyphus With a Mouse
The defining trait is a refusal to resign. Across thousands of bullet games there are fewer than 60 resignation losses; everything else gets fought to the flag, and quite often the flag belongs to the opponent, with 1,629 wins on time. The stubbornness is mathematically backed: a 71% comeback rate, a 59.8% win rate even after losing a full piece, and a tilt factor of 8 out of 100, meaning pressure that cracks most players registers here as light weather. Games reach the endgame 83% of the time, and the average win takes 74 moves of grinding.
Checkmate delivery is a calling card, landing in 20% of all games, usually with the queen, which has checked opponents 7,286 times and counting. One scheduling note: the win rate at 20:00 is a monstrous 84%, while at 11:00 the data reports a heroic 0%, and the data does not apologize. Challenge accordingly.
Rivalries and Recurring Guests
With 55 games logged against huidji (36 wins, 17 losses, 2 draws), that duel is the house classic, a long-running series with real stakes and wounded pride on both sides. ramandolov has taken 28 swings for 20 losses. But the cruelest file belongs to binhtokyo: 17 meetings, 16 SeTuttePippe wins, 1 draw, 0 binhtokyo victories, a relationship somewhere between a rivalry and a subscription. The most recent recorded duel wrapped on October 6, 2026: Replay the latest chapter.
SeTuttePippe by the Numbers, Kind Of
- Longest winning streak: 48 straight bullet games. At that point it stopped being a streak and became a weather system.
- Against lower-rated opposition the win rate is 74%; against higher-rated foes it dips to 32%. A glass cannon, but with a very big cannon.
- Average first capture arrives on move 6.26: patience first, plunder second.
- Casual games go about 35 points better than rated ones, suggesting the true natural habitat is chaos without consequences.
- Fridays run at 69%, the best day of the week; Sundays are the one day the machine operates at a merely mortal 60%.
- The rarest sight in chess remains a SeTuttePippe resignation. Blink and you will never see one.
In summary: open with 1.e4, flag the opponent, never resign, and be home by 8 PM. That is the whole masterclass.