VeryBadBish0p: False Advertising at Blitz Master Level
There are honest usernames, and then there is VeryBadBish0p. This is the story of an online blitz chess player who branded themselves a "very bad bishop" and then spent four years grinding from 1735 all the way to a peak of 2591 (2026-04-17), logging more than 23,900 blitz games in the process. If the bishop is really that bad, someone needs to inform the rating system, because it has clearly not received the memo.
The Torre Attack Is Not an Opening Choice, It Is a Personality
Open VeryBadBish0p's archive and you will find one of two things on move one: d4, or the ghost of d4. The beloved Torre Attack alone appears in over 3,200 blitz games, flanked by the Döry Defense, the East Indian Defense, and an attacking setup so scandalous it got partially censored in the database: the London Poisoned Pawn Variation. Nobody plays the same opening 3,237 times by accident. That is devotion. That is also possibly a cry for help.
- More than 3,200 games of Torre Attack, the comfort food of Queen's Pawn players
- 2,420 games of the Döry Defense, because one reliable system was somehow not enough
- A scattering of e4 openers, presumably played on a dare or after a bad day
An Endgame Grinder Disguised as a Blitz Player
Most blitz players want a 20 move knockout. VeryBadBish0p wants the full novel, footnotes included. Roughly 85% of games reach an endgame, average wins drag past 83 moves, and the comeback rate sits at an absurd 85.5%. Drop a piece against this player and you have not won, you have simply started a very long apology tour. They still win about 40% of games after losing material, which is the chess equivalent of getting hit by a bus and asking the bus for directions.
Nemeses, Rivals, and Occasional Victims
Every grinder keeps a little black book, and the most frequent name in it is Puressence, who has turned 52 meetings into 33 wins. Seth Rokosky also owns a comfortable 29 to 11 edge. But it is not all suffering, because rymsierk gets outscored 19 to 10 and David Javakhadze falls 18 to 13, proving there are indeed humans this bishop can bad at will.
- puressence: 52 games, a recurring nightmare with excellent head to head economics
- rymsierk: the designated feel-good win
- A 13 game winning streak and a 13 game losing streak, because the universe demands symmetry
Wins on the Clock, Loses by Checkmate
Here is the strangest stat in the entire file: 5,493 wins by resignation, 3,245 wins on time, and only 1,395 wins by checkmate. Meanwhile, a whopping 6,357 losses came by checkmate. VeryBadBish0p does not mate opponents so much as outlast them until they quit or flag, then presumably says something polite. When checks do get delivered, rooks do the talking, with 23,938 rook checks fired off, because nothing says "please resign" like a rook parked on the seventh rank.
Know Before You Challenge
- Tilt factor of just 13 out of 100, cooler than the other side of the pillow
- Best hour to face them is never, but their worst is 5 AM, when the win rate dips below 38%
- White scores about 45%, Black about 40%, both by slow and dignified strangulation
- Rated games are taken 42 points more seriously than casual ones, which are apparently just vibes
- Only a 21% early resignation rate, otherwise they fight to the final pawn
The Final Verdict
VeryBadBish0p is living proof that a self-deprecating username means nothing and the grind means everything. Steady blitz strength in the 2400s since 2023, a peak above 2590, a Torre Attack played with religious consistency, and an endgame that simply refuses to die. Call the bishop bad all you want. The scoreboard, the clock, and roughly 10,000 grumpy opponents would like a word.