The Bedrock Bullet Machine
Few names on the online chess ladder announce their intentions like yabbadabbadoooooooo. The username is a cartoon stone-age catchphrase with a few extra o's stretched across it, and the o's are plausibly the sound of an opponent's flag falling. This is a specialist in bullet chess of genuinely frightening commitment: more than 33,000 bullet games, a peak rating of 2812 (2026-09-22), and a philosophy best summarized as "queue another one."
The Grind: Volume Over Vanity
They arrived in December 2020 at a modest 1802 bullet and have climbed the only way they know how: relentlessly. Months of 1,700+ games became routine, and September 2026 alone featured 4,911 bullet games, roughly one every six minutes if they never slept. The journey included a 24-game winning streak that surely felt like a coronation, plus a 74-game losing streak that would have retired most players from the internet entirely.
The ledger is beautifully honest: 15,011 bullet wins against 17,065 losses, a strength-adjusted win rate sitting right at 50%, and a tilt factor of 74 out of 100. Note the symmetry: tilt factor 74, longest losing streak 74. The universe has a sense of humor, and so does this account. Side quests in blitz (peak 2544) and rapid (peak 2364) exist, but bullet is home.
A Repertoire Older Than the Wheel
Their opening menu reads like a museum of glorious nonsense, fitting for someone named after Bedrock:
- Australian Defense, the most-played bullet opening at 3,599 games, because answering 1.d4 with 1...f5 is apparently a lifestyle.
- Amar Gambit, 2,892 bullet games of knight-on-the-rim mischief.
- The Blackburne Shilling Gambit, the most profitable weapon in the shed: 49% in bullet, 56.5% in blitz, and a stonking 63% in rapid.
- The Rhamphorhynchus Variation, a pterodactyl-themed line played 1,375 times at a 37.67% win rate. Extinction has been predicted for years; the pterodactyl keeps flapping.
- The Amazon Attack, the Nimzo-Larsen Attack, assorted Barnes f-pawn cheese, and oceans of early queen trades in the French and Caro-Kann Exchanges, for lulling opponents into a false sense of napping.
- The Scotch Game, 1,540 times, presumably to keep the databases on their toes.
Their signature trap, in full prehistoric glory:
Grab the e5 pawn at your own peril. Nineteenth-century shillings were considered easy money for a reason.
Style: Rooks, Flags and Comebacks
Of 143,032 delivered checks, 50,539 came from the rook, making the rook lift their love language. They land the first check 55% of the time and win over half of those games, but when checked first the win rate craters to 37%, so the initiative is non-negotiable. The clock is weapon number two: 9,085 wins arrived by flagging, comfortably ahead of the 5,251 by checkmate. Even after dropping a piece they still win 43% of the time, the comeback rate sits near 90%, and 82% of games slog into a genuine endgame. The average winning game runs about 78 moves, which in bullet is an ultramarathon. First blood typically happens around move five. Opponents, take note: the win rate peaks at high noon and on Saturdays, while Sunday mornings are a feeding window.
The Rivalry Ledger
With this much volume, familiar faces were inevitable. Records are listed wins first, then losses, then draws:
- pizzarocks147: 424 meetings, 319-82-23. The pepperoni punching bag.
- Aurelfletch6: 399 meetings, 264-107-28. Another reliable dinner bell.
- j8ofhearts: 406 meetings, 212-187-7. The fairest fight on the schedule.
- badboy_zx: 287 meetings, 175-99-13. A rare rival they actually boss around.
- SoupSailor: 381 meetings, 89-286-6. The soup is served cold, frequently.
- Max: 409 meetings, 75-325-9. A periodic table of pain.
- Aaron Jacobson: 295 meetings, 22-272-1. A nemesis so dominant it borders on bullying; the egg is never worried.
Historical footnote: their daily chess career briefly touched 2110 in November 2023, then finished that same month at 1255, a deflation that deserves its own physics paper.
Legacy: Yabba Dabba Doo
A peak bullet rating of 2812, roughly 41,000 games analyzed, a rook that checks more often than some players move, and a losing streak that would make a philosopher quit. Whether up a rook, down a queen, or 74 losses deep into a Tuesday, yabbadabbadoooooooo keeps hitting Play, currently riding the high of a one-game winning streak. In a format built for quitters, that may be the rarest chess skill of all.